Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear

Wow, this is going by fast…chemo treatment #5! It was a little bumpy getting started. My counts are still low, I am having a higher heart rate and also having shortness of breath. Thankfully, my oncologist came by to see me and thought I was suffering from dehydration (I drink 100oz of water a day…how can I be dehydrated?) and gave me extra fluids. Shortness of breath went away with the fluids. Still having a higher heart rate, so my doctor will be monitoring that and I have to take the Neupogen shots again. I am not looking forward to those. I know I need it, but it makes every joint I have ache for several days. I was told I could take a couple of ibuprofen a day (You have no idea how happy that makes me!), so I will be able to get a little relief. I am not allowed to take any pain medication that reduces fever for any length of period. They don’t want me to mask possible infection since I am at a higher risk for that. But, I will gladly take any relief I can get, even if it’s for a short time.

This week has continued to be unexpected. I found out Tuesday that I have cervical cancer. Yep, you read that right! It has absolutely no correlation to my breast cancer. I’m just lucky that way. I am blessed that we caught it early (Stage 1b) and I’m already doing the appropriate chemo treatments. Dr. Bakhru (now my gynecologic oncologist) let me know that I have a 92% chance that chemo will eradicate it completely. Please help me pray that I will not be in the 8% that the cancer will continue to grow during treatment. I will have a PET scan next Wednesday and a cone biopsy on Thursday. He also let me know that my cancer is higher up into my cervix, which is why my pap smear and biopsy from Dr. McAlpine came back clear. (Typical of me not being typical.) It was only from the MRI that showed the cervical cancer, which he said was reliably accurate. That is why he wants to do the cone biopsy, so we can have a pathology report to go along with the MRI.

When we left his office, Jonathan and I was in shock. What are the odds that I would develop not one rare breast cancer, but an additional cervical cancer? Jonathan and I are both in agreement that God’s hand has been guiding us this whole time. If I had not been diagnosed with breast cancer, Dr. McAlpine would not have been as aggressive in recommending the MRI and we would not have found the cervical cancer. It could have been so much worse. What are the odds that Dr. Nair would prescribe the exact chemo regimen that I would need for the cervical cancer? (I have met another Triple Negative Breast Cancer patient and she is not doing the same treatment plan as me.) There is absolutely no doubt in my mind God is working all these things for good. I have seen His hands through this entire journey and am constantly in amazement.

We know God has a plan to all of this. His plans for us are perfect and good even though we may not understand it. I refuse to give into fear! I will continue to put my whole trust in the God who loves and created me. Psalm 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me. How can I not trust in Him? He has given me a promise of eternal salvation that I accepted many years ago and I will not live in fear of earthly things. That is His gift to you and me, and it’s FREE! Jesus did ALL the work when He came down from heaven to earth and died for every person’s sins. All you have to do is believe and accept that gift. Romans 5:8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

If you have not accepted God’s gift, I encourage you to do so. It will be the best decision you will ever make in this life. If you want to contact me, I would be happy to pray with you. His love for us is inseparable. Romans 8:39 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That is why I cannot be fearful of this cancer. My ultimate prize is not here on earth, but waiting for me in heaven. Nothing can separate us from His gift of love! How awesome is that? Don’t get me wrong, I still want to be here with my family and watch my grandchildren grow. But I will continue to put my trust in God’s perfect love, for it truly does cast out all fear. (1John 4:18)

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9 thoughts on “Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear

  1. Every time I read your story I cry, not because I think of sadness but for JOY! Joy knowing you are my niece and that God is using your story to change lives and touch hearts! Your words and your walk with God have truly blessed this hard hearted soul! I love you Shenna, Keep smiling!!!

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  2. Wow, just wow. I don’t know you, but we have several mutual friends, so I decided to read your story today after they shated on FB. I was crying but also convicted to live out my faith daily. Thank you for your faith visible to the world. Praying for complete healing. I am constantly amazed by God’s provision before we even know we need it.

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  3. Nashenna you are such a blessing to so many and I am so blessed and lucky to have such a strong beautiful sister like you and I thank God everyday for you. You are such an inspiration. I love you

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  4. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. Such a blessing to see your love for JESUS through this devastating journey. I pray God will use your testimony to draw others to Jesus Christ our Lord. I also pray for healing for you and strength for this journey for you and all of your precious family. Ly

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  5. Nashenna , I wanted you to know I discovered that taking Claritin one day before I have to take the immune shot and each day after for 7 days…. it gives me almost complete relief from the bone and joint pain…Drs do not know why but it works for others too. Maybe it will help

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      1. So glad…I went through two infusions before I learned about it. It really worked for me but once I stopped it too soon in effort to reduce chemical intake. Learned the hard way it takes my body about seven days from shot to stop.

        I’m “normal” for what I call my zombie week ( week when wb and rb count drop ) I’ve been so protected from so much that others go through under the chemo I’m taking. I just feel so blessed.

        My infusion this time is three days, then shot, then two weeks off.
        Feb 22 begins 4th week and last for this chemo.
        After that I’m back on “watch and wait”. (I like that they call it that in the medical community because it reminds me of Gods word…to watch and wait on Him.)
        It will be wonderful to have more than two weeks off and get some energy back, attend church, spend time with family and friends.

        Praying for you kiddo as you serve God in this most challenging way.
        May you know HIS presence and leading so very clearly each waking minute.

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  6. What an amazing testimony! You know that this is just a short blip compared to spending eternity in heaven with your loved ones. Thank you for sharing your story. You have been in my prayers since you first found out.

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